I did that just to get everyone's attention - worked, didn't it?
Actually, I am feeling a bit frustrated. I am still really tired even after being off the antibiotics a week now. Rats. I slept 10 hours last night, and could - if I allowed myself - take a nap right now. Instead, though, I am going to see the amazing Jocelyn for a much-needed massage!
I have continuous pain in my neck and shoulder, which is probably a side effect of the facial paralysis. According to Dr. Roland, it would be caused by me holding my head and upper body differently in order to compensate for the lack on sensation on the right side of my face as well as overall compensation for my diminished balance . I am also doing most of my chewing on the left side, which , oddly, strains the right side. Well, I am turning myself over to Jocelyn to see if she can work her magic on me!
Facial progress continues to be slow, slow, slow. I honestly can't see any progress, but I am probably too close (pun intended) to it to see the subtle changes. What I DO see is a ridiculous half-assed smile which I really don't like! Okay, yes, I am whining a bit. I'm entitled to whine every once in awhile.
It's kind of funny - like most people, I was always pretty critical of photos of myself - I'd do that internal dialogue where you say - euw, what a stupid looking smile, oh, your hair looks like crap, oh you've got lines at the corners of your eyes, etc. etc. etc. Welllllll, nothing like having a paralyzed face to make you miss what you had! I have made a promise to God (Allah, Buddha, etc) that if/when I get my face back, I will NOT be critical of how I look!!
Well, these are the idle of thoughts of a woman who is now 8 weeks post brain surgery - guess I should count my blessings that I actually HAVE thoughts.
More later...
...and, ehm, i might be wrong here, but could the fatigue not be from major brain surgery and the fact that's you're only 8 weeks past it? Just a guess. On top of that minor event, you had antibiotics. Makes me tired just thinking about it!
ReplyDelete:) Ciao, Lorenzo
Hi Debbi,
ReplyDeleteI found you on the Acoustic Neurma Association forum. I had my left AN (1.7cm) removed via retro-sigmoid on May 23, 2007. I had lost all hearing until I had a test on May 9, 2008 which indicated that I did have some coming back, very little and unusable, but some. From what I understand, it takes a very long time for nerves to regenerate. I am still holding out for more hearing.
I understand your being tired! Like Lorenzo said, you just had neurosurgery! Take a nap, it is your body telling you to rest. I am sure that massage will be wonderful! ENJOY!
Carmen
Think about the PICC and how, although it was a HUGE pain, it is now passed. This too will pass, but it WILL take a LOT (unfortunately) of time and patience! You are doing so great - as I tell everyone, it is OK to have bad days...you've had such a great attitude...but allow yourself some down days!
ReplyDeleteK