Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Scarred For Life

No, I’m not referring to the scar on the side of my skull, although to tell the truth, it's pretty impressive. I’m talking about some of the things I am forced to look at as I go about my day. Take, for example, the guy I saw strutting down the side of a busy country highway – no shirt, big furry belly. Euw. Will I ever be able to get that image out of my head??

And, that got me to thinking about some of the other things that no human being should ever have to see. Let’s start with big girls in skinny jeans and tube tops. Whoa. That paints a picture, doesn’t it? I take small comfort in knowing that these girls are paying attention to the “tanning is bad for you” message, which I know to be true by seeing the expanse of lily white flesh flowing over the top of said skinny jeans. I ask you – how is it possible that anyone actually think that this is attractive???

And, while I am at it, let’s talk about Spandex. I was going to suggest that no woman (or man) over the age of 16 should be allowed to own spandex, but maybe I am being too generous. I say we outlaw it all together. I can’t think of a single person whose looks improve with spandex. Can you?

Finally, what about butt cleavage??? You know what I’m talking about – don’t pretend like you’ve never seen this. Because I know that once you’ve seen butt cleavage, the image is burned into your retinas for life. And, ladies, I’m not just talking about the guys here! Butt cleavage on ladies isn’t very attractive either. Seriously, get a belt or suspenders, or pants that fit. We don’t want to see your but – period!

I am sure some of you will have more suggestions to beautify our world, protect our eyes, and prevent us from undue trauma. Right?