It's Friday afternoon and I should be working on a product launch I've got going on right now, but I just decided to take a few moments out to chat. I've got a couple of hours until my final coaching session of the week (with a client who I enjoy very much, so it doesn't feel like work at all!)
I've been thinking lately about how I have changed in the last year - the post-brain-tumour-Debbi, if you will. I'm not talking about the surface changes - the occasional staggering about, the facial oddities, the deafness - but how have I changed inside? (And, no, I'm not referring to the rather large glob of belly fat that now resides in my cranial cavity!) I do notice some internal changes in myself, though.
I am just a little less certain of myself sometimes - that is probably residual "stuff" from walking around with a really weird looking face for so many months after surgery. And, it is also related to my inability to hear in certain environments. And, to my heightened sensitivity to loud noises and certain tones. That all goes towards making me feel a bit more tentative at times.
But in a good way, I am so much more focused on what is important to me now. It is so much easier for me to politely and firmly say "no" to things that aren't consistent with my goals or values. I find myself appreciating the beauty of things around me a lot more these days (hence the renewed interest in photography.) I am more patient with people who are going through rough patches - but only if I see that they are trying to help themselves. (Less patience with those who have found a comfortable home in self pity.)
And, then, there's the whole bread-baking thing ... what the hell is THAT about??? And, can I blame it on the brain tumor???
Not sure about the bread baking, but the rest is pretty much the we ANers are, or others with a serious illness. It that changes life to the core. Nothing is ever the same, everything changes and most things improve. Certainly one's perception of life and our way of living changes. Eventually self-esteem and feeling less tentative will also be part of it as we realise just HOW MUCH we have achieved. That in itself is reason to be sure of who we are and what we can do.
ReplyDeleteBread? Blame me. Glad you're baking and enjoying photography again, Debbi. :)
I'm blaming you for the gardening, too, Lorenzo - haven't done that in about 10 years!
ReplyDeleteHell, I am even contemplating making my own whole wheat pizza dough for tonight... Who AM I????
LOL Well, now you know EXACTLY how I felt when the urge to garden griped me 5 years ago. LOL All I kept thinking was 'what happened to me???' Isn't it great to be able to have activities like that to relax with? :)
ReplyDeleteHow was the pizza? lol
The pizza was really tasty, however, the crust didn't crisp up the way I wanted it to. It was very thin and the edges got crispy but the bottom was kind of soft - okay, it was really soft. I think I need to bake it "untopped" for a few minutes before I put the toppings on ...?
ReplyDeletePossibly too thin to crisp. I have that problem when I out too many thing on it and roll it out too thin. I stopped rolling it, and I'm now stretching it with my fingers or top of hands. I also put less things on it. BUT, heck, taste is it isn't it? We're not commercial pizzaioli! :D
ReplyDelete