Here's Lookin' at You

So, yesterday I had an interesting experience. To back up a bit, I was able to quit wearing my BlinkEze eye weight late last year because my eye was blinking on its own. Good news! What I guess I didn't realize is that it doesn't always blink - sometimes it just stares back at you while the other eye blinks. Creepy.

And, how did I discover this? Well, as I was driving back from a meeting yesterday, my eye was feeling scratchy and I was debating whether I should pull over to put drops in (having promised Willie that I would no longer put drops in my eye at 65 MPH on the highway - even though I am very good at it!). So, I glanced in the car mirror and I must have blinked because I watched my "good" eye close while my AN eye just stared back at me. Freaked me out. Kind of amazing I didn't drive off the highway. I asked Willie about it last night and he casually informed me that, in fact, my AN eye doesn't always blink.

Great. So I've been blithely going around with an intermittently blinking eye. Now, of course, I am hyper-aware of it, and am consciously making my AN eye blink. Except when I forget...

Fawn in the Flowers

I made the mistake of sleeping in this morning (something that is a much more frequent occurrence since the Great AN Experience of 2008). And, in doing so, I missed a special moment - fortunately for me (and you), Willie experienced the whole thing.

Willie headed outside very early this morning to start working on the mulch project. As he walked out the side door from out garage, he caught a movement out of the corner of his eye in the raised planting bed to the left of the door. When he looked over, there was a very tiny fawn raising itself up on its spindly legs and trying to escape. It ran into the middle of the yard and stood there looking confused and scared. Willie said he squatted down so as not to scare it anymore. Just as he was wondering if the little baby was orphaned, he started hearing a little chirping noise - and then the mother came out of the woods, tail in full alert mode (we have white tailed deer here) looking for the baby. Reunited, they ran off into the woods behind our house.

An amazing nature moment. I can only guess that the baby has decided to sleep in amongst the lettuce and day lilies, up against the house for warmth. The bed is raised about a food off the ground, so it's kind of amazing that the little guy got up there. Willie said is was laying down, tucked up against the house when he came out. What is even more amazing is that it didn't touch the three tender lettuce plants that is was laying amongst! The little thing is probably only a few weeks old, at most. Hopefully it will make an appearance again and I will be lucky enough to see it!

And, now, I am off to plant some more tomatoes (OMG, I can't stop myself!!) Lorenzo, I blame you! And, Mom and Dad, I blame you too.

Brainy - or Not?

Okay, so today I am going to have a bit of a rant. Why, you ask? Well, for starters, because it's my blog and I can rant if I want to, and for second, I need to get this off my chest!

A couple of weeks ago while Willie was planting some trees on our property line, the neighbor lady came out and was chatting with Willie. Preface: she and her husband moved in next door to us about 3 years ago, she came from Brooklyn, I think.) I mention this because she should be forgiven for not knowing a think about wild animals. I should also mention that she had (notice past tense?) three cats when they moved in (outdoor cats, from all evidence) - she now only has two. Stay with me here.

Anyway, she very proudly proclaimed to Willie that she puts all of their table scraps out in the yard every night to "feed the animals." WHAT??? Well, first of all, this explains how she now only has two cats, the third, no doubt, having been eaten by a wild animal who didn't like the table scraps but thought that cat would be tasty. Second, lady, are you freaking CRAZY? They are WILD animals, not pets. The cute racoons and fox and possums will rip your hand right off if you threaten them, never mind what they'll do to your cats. And, if you keep feeding them, they will become reliant on you and forget how to hunt. When you move on, who is going to feed them then?

We live in an area that has well publicized problems with the black bear population. In fact, we are not even supposed to have bird feeders out unless they are well out of bear-reach. And, this knucklehead is leaving out a buffet every night??? Amazingly, no bears have started frequenting our property, but one wonders how long that good fortune is destined to last? Apparently, she thinks it is cute and charming (although I suspect the cats disagree). I wanted to march right over and give her a basic lesson on wild animal etiquette (a little post brain tumor rage?) but Willie talked me off the ledge.

However, I am still not sure I am done with this (sorry, honey, I know you are reading this and cringing!) For starters, I may have to start returning the miscellaneous meat bones that find our way to our property to HER yard (in the dark of night of course, no sensing begging trouble!) I have to plot something better and more effective, though ... any ideas??? (You know I am kidding, right? I'm not really a psycho...really...)

Updates from Fatty Brain Land

It's Friday afternoon and I should be working on a product launch I've got going on right now, but I just decided to take a few moments out to chat. I've got a couple of hours until my final coaching session of the week (with a client who I enjoy very much, so it doesn't feel like work at all!)

I've been thinking lately about how I have changed in the last year - the post-brain-tumour-Debbi, if you will. I'm not talking about the surface changes - the occasional staggering about, the facial oddities, the deafness - but how have I changed inside? (And, no, I'm not referring to the rather large glob of belly fat that now resides in my cranial cavity!) I do notice some internal changes in myself, though.

I am just a little less certain of myself sometimes - that is probably residual "stuff" from walking around with a really weird looking face for so many months after surgery. And, it is also related to my inability to hear in certain environments. And, to my heightened sensitivity to loud noises and certain tones. That all goes towards making me feel a bit more tentative at times.

But in a good way, I am so much more focused on what is important to me now. It is so much easier for me to politely and firmly say "no" to things that aren't consistent with my goals or values. I find myself appreciating the beauty of things around me a lot more these days (hence the renewed interest in photography.) I am more patient with people who are going through rough patches - but only if I see that they are trying to help themselves. (Less patience with those who have found a comfortable home in self pity.)

And, then, there's the whole bread-baking thing ... what the hell is THAT about??? And, can I blame it on the brain tumor???

Happy Mother's Day

I just got off the phone with my mom - we had a great video skype chat. Not quite as good as being there in person, but great to see her while we were talking - gotta love technology. The above picture was taken this past winter in Arizona where my parents wisely spent the winter - in shorts and t-shirts!

Willie's parents are coming over in awhile so we'll toast his mom, too. It's a day for moms! Last year both moms were here and Willie did all the cooking (since I was only a few weeks out of the hospital and still on "light duty.") Actually, he'll be doing most of the cooking this year, too. Filet mignons, asparagus, red peppers on the grill. He sauted some baby portabellas already that we'll serve with the steaks. Whole wheat oatmeal bread (by yours truly) is on its second rise. I've made got a fresh blueberry crisp ready to go in the oven for dessert. Yum, I can hardly wait! Wish my mom was here today, too, but instead she and dad will be in downtown Portland, OR enjoying the sunshine as they walk along the river. It's a beautiful area, so it will be a wonderful day for mom.

I hope all the moms out there have a special day, filled with love!

Loving Spring

I had the perfect spring day on Saturday - such a far cry from a year ago when walking 1- feet down the driveway made me want to lay down and sleep for an hour!

Saturday started out drizzly, but cleared up by mid-morning and the temps leveled out at about 65 or thereabouts. It was a perfect day for planting, so off we went to the garden center. I planted 58 impatiens in front of the house next to the walkway (this never got done last year because I coudn't bend over to plant anything for fear of causing a cranial fluid leak.) After completing that project, I moved to the back and planted about 30 geraniums. I also moved my little baby mesclan greens and arugula starters outside - having read somewhere that a cloudy day is best for moving seedlings outside. Oh, and I also planted six new hostas back under the edge of our deck - my mission now is to keep the deer from eating them!

I ended the day covered in dirt and totally happy! Yesterday we had a slow, steady rain, which was perfect for all my newly planted "babies." It is so good to be gardening again - I missed it last year!

This is a fine way to continue celebrating my one year anniversary!