Another holiday season is upon us (how the hell did that happen??) and I am taking a little time to reflect on life. I am also reflecting on all my wonderful brain tumor friends and the myriad of funny things we share. Who other than you would understand things like…
Hugging -don’t you just hate it when you lean in for a hug and just keep right on going? Sometimes taking the other person down with you…
Bobbing and Weaving -you are walking along, minding your own business, looking around at all the great sites and suddenly find that you have veered into the road or off the trail. This causes a spurt of adrenalin which causes us to try to quickly course-correct which in turns results in stumbling, bobbing and weaving. All very entertaining for onlookers. Although I have noticed some of the mothers grabbing their kids and moving quickly away…
Drooling and Dribbling – and if your facial nerve is still feeling cranky, how about that drooling thing? Yep, always nice to find out that you have a spaghetti noodle hanging off your lip … and that it has been there for the entire meal because the lip/chin is still pretty numb.
Oil Slick – for those of us who have to keep gel in our eyes 24-7, don’t you just love it when you walk by a mirror and see that you have a massive gel-slick on your face? Honestly, don’t you wonder what people think? We should make up a really inventive story … any ideas?
Whirling Dervish – okay, one of my personal favorites. You are in a store and hear your name being called. You start twirling around trying to locate the source of the sound. Doesn’t work, so the person helpfully calls out “over here.” Great. If I had directionality, do you really think I'd be whirling around like a freaking idiot:
What I Think I Heard – ah, so many funny stories on this one. Ever notice how “chocolate” sounds just like “talk a lot?” or how “caller id” sounds just like “celery…” So, for those of you out there who aren’t single side deaf, if I respond to you in some completely inappropriate manner, just smile and continue.
Winking and Blinking – This is actually a great party trick! When I get tired my acoustic neuroma-side eye either stops blinking entirely, or starts blinking out of sync with the other eye. It’s pretty funny and it totally messes up other people who now don’t know what the hell you’re up to.
Nap Attack – Who among us hasn’t experienced that sudden, not-to-be-denied urge to nap. C’mon, fess up. Some of you have been seen napping at the library, at the coffee shop, on a park bench … really just about anywhere you can plant your butt for a spell.
Abutments – this is a whole new realm for me since I only got my BAHA abutment about a month ago. It sticks out ever so slightly from the side of my head – just enough to catch the edge of that nice knit winter scarf… or the neck of the sweater that I tried to yank over my head in a single smooth move. Hm. Do you think anyone will notice when I have an afghan hanging off the side of my head? Maybe I can color coordinate it to go with the spaghetti on my lip…
Gosh, who knew a brain tumor could be so much fun and so very entertaining??
Merry Christmas!
You are so funny - I can just hear you sharing these!! Merry Christmas to you and Willie too!! Thanks for the card - maybe you'll get a PResident's Day card this year...or how about Valentine's Day??
ReplyDeleteOh My Gosh ... my fav's: Bobbing and Weaving .. no, Whirling Dervish .. no, What I Think I Heard! Thanks for making me chuckle at our "situation". While others can never completely understand, it sure has been nice to have you and the many other's on this AN journey to walk beside one another with complete compassion. Thanks for your friendship and of course, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
ReplyDeleteHappy Christmas to you all!! :) Thanks for the chuckle Debbi. Very funny.
ReplyDeleteAh yes, tumors are the most hilarious ting one could possibly live with. It's AN endless source of amusement for us, and others no doubt!
Hugging
That's fine, if you actually hit the target. Nothing worse than lunging a hug and embrace fresh air.
Bobbing and weaving
I relate. Although if it happens here, people just assume you've just come out of a pub, so things take a slightly different turn, and there's a certain social acceptance.
Drooling
Pasta, lentils, bread, cheese, wine, porridge… I particularly like the scalding porridge.
Oil slick
Not for me. Don't have that need to gunk up my eyes. Sounds like I missed something.
Whirling dervish
here. Here. HERE! OVER H E R E ! by which time i just give up and ignore any further verbal assistance.
Winking and blinking
Again, something I'm missing out on. Sigh. Non-synchronised eyes sound like a great party trick!
Nap Attack
Car (both driving and not), bookstore, dentist, MRI, college canteen, meeting, party, supermarket while in line, bank, meetings, clothes shop while waiting, cafes, bank… anywhere I found a good comfortable seat.
Abutments
My entire head is an abutment.
Oh, just wait until you get your BAHA processor! The "hugging" category will be even more fun! If the huggee happens to be on the side of your processor, it will let out a really LOUD screech, which is unpleasant to both the hugger and the huggee. You'll learn to either hug on the other side or to nonchalantly reach up and turn off your processor before the hugging begins.
ReplyDeleteAs for the "bobbing and weaving", I've found that ever since I started carrying a brown paper bag with a half empty bottle of rum in it, people don't even pay attention anymore.
Great stuff, Deb. Just stopped by to wish you and yours a Merry Christmas!
ReplyDeleteWell the holidays are over but this made me laugh. I had the surgery in July 2010 and like you can't hear a dang thing out of my r ear.Still have the paralysis in my face they said could get better any time or it may be a year or longer.Holy moly it's so aggravating. I know where you're coming from.It was good reading your post. I'll probably be back later.bfn
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