Ceepy Crawly Things

Every year it seems like we get some plague-like invasion of some sort of multi-legged creature here on Tallyho Lane. One year, it was the Japanese Beetles which rose in a terrifying cloud from the depths of our lawn just in time to eat every expensive shrub in sight. Then we had the Gypsy Moth Caterpillars - again, arriving just in time to eat all the replacement shrubs. And, then there was the year of the Giant Cicada Killer Wasps (if you think I am kidding, Google it!). They didn't eat anything but they scared the hell out of us and tried to excavate our walkway to build dens for their hideous off spring.

Well, this year we have been overcome by slugs, spiders and something that I can only imagine is a huge millipede. There were three humongous (translation - really, really big) spiders dangling from the garage door when I opened it today. I tried to kill them all with ant spray (hey, it was all I could find) - got myself worked into such a killing frenzy that I lost my balance and nearly tipped over. At which point I would have been face to face with a three inch millipede that was making its way speedily across the garage floor. Eeek! These millipede thingies are about as big around as a #2 pencil, up to 3 inches long, and appear to have some sort of hard, segmented shell. Euw.

And, can anyone explain to me how it is possible for a spider to cast a horizontal strand of web across a 10-foot span? Do the little suckers have wings now? Do they hang off a wall and just hurl themselves sideways? Are they immune to gravity?

All this constant looking over my shoulder (and under my feet, and above my head...) is playing havoc with my already iffy balance. Lorenzo, can you please send autumn across the pond so that all these things will die or hibernate or whatever it is that they do?

Meanwhile, I am hiding in the house with a can of bug spray (which, incidentally, has NO effect on the millipede thingies...) If you don't hear from me again, you'll know something got me...