Monday, April 30, 2012

Four Years...

Wow, I cannot believe it has been FOUR years since I had surgery ... Tonight I enjoyed a great dinner of grilled salmon, Greek salad and black rice - a far cry from the the tepid apple juice that I could barely keep down 4 years ago! I was somewhat naive four years ago, thinking that I was going to have brain surgery, followed by a speedy and bump-free recovery, then go on living my life exactly as before. Wrong! Life has definitely been different than I envisioned, but that is not to say it has been worse. In some respects, I am still finding my way with the "new" me. But, there have been so many positive things that have happened along the way! There is a part of me that really believes that things happen for a reason, even though the reason may not always be clear right away. I still struggle at times with being deaf on one side. The BAHA has been a huge help, but I do miss having two hearing ears sometimes. And I still don't like to see pictures of myself with my "new" smile. I know that other people don't really notice the smile or the asymmetry in my face, but I know it's there. And the dry eye - man, that drives me nuts sometimes! I would LOVE to be able to see things with my right eye without them being one big frigging blur. And I'd like my face to just feel "normal. But, in spite of those things, I have so many things to be happy about ... first are the friends I've made in the acoustic neuroma world. I've made friendships that will last the rest of my life with people I'd have never met otherwise. And, somehow, through this whole experience, I've rediscovered my passion for photography. And I can't begin to describe what a huge gift that has been. There is something about having a camera held up to my eye (left, of course) that just brings me such joy. There are many other things that I count in the plus column - too many to recount here. So, today is a good day - a celebration of sorts. It marks the first day of my "new" life! Debbi

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